Secret dance dog party

Some nights I think I feel just as fabulous as this lovely lady does dancing around our living rooms dancing with our little doggy. Dang I would kill for that carpet.

Cramps

I wish I could explain the pain I feel sometimes when I get period cramps. I believe the only cure to deal with is weed. I've wasted an entire evening watching tv which was a total waste since I need to pack to go Las Vegas first thing in the morning a day from now. I feel bummed out over not getting anything done but I would not of been able to do anything anyways with bad cramps. Now that I've talked it out loud with myself by writing this out I feel better about my lovely evening enjoying tv and being baked without any tummy pains. Right on.

Hulk Pug

A hotel in another city that is part of the hotel chain I work for had a doggy Halloween costume contest. This costume of a pug dressed at the hulk did not even make the top three but I for sure think it was THE BEST! I could write their owner a fan letter I totally would!

I heart Miss Piggy

Long story short my dude was playing dungeons and dragons as he religiously does every Sunday and after mentioning to my neighbour that it was the beginning of my weekend he offered my some mushroom tea. Why not. I decided to watch Muppets take Manhattan that I had tivoed. While watching I came to the foggy conclusion that I am totally Miss Piggy. Firey temper, sweet and cute when I need to be and I get easily enraged and scream when I get mad and wear way too much eye shadow. I remember lying infront of the television hours before the muppet show started on Sunday night because I was so excited for it to start. Now I'm 32 and watch the movie on mushrooms and can't wait to buy it on blu-ray.

Haunted House on the hill

I like to walk to walk my dog at night in the dark and usually take the same route. It recently has been brought to my attention that the old mansion on the corner of my street is apparently one of the most haunted places in the city. After looking for more info about it the story goes that in the 50s a successful business man and his wife lived in the house and he left for a business trip. After he realized he had forgotten some paper work at home he heading back only to walk in on his wife having sex with her lover. He murdered them both. Chopped them up and put them in suitcases. Not too clear on what happened after that. I heard he killed himself. Anyhoo... The house has always been for sale. Legends tell of the real estate agent trying to show the house and the lock constantly being jammed. The keys breaking numerous times etc. Families move in and move out in a matter of a few months because it's been said they either leave for the evening or wake up to all their belongings packed and on the lawn. About 7 years ago Buddist monks bought the place and have lived there ever since.

Happy Birthday to moi

It took a while for my grand parents, mother, father, brother and co-workers to wish me a happy birthday and my dude calling me from a store 10 minutes before picking me up at work asking what purse I wanted to get the party started. I actually started feeling like Samantha Baker. I got the wicked green purse I wanted flowers. Thanks handsome. My step sister called me at work too. Thats all that matters. She is a jet setter. Djs fly her all over the world. She is the most ridiculous person I've ever know. No matter where she is in the world, on crazy amounts of E. She will always always call me on my birthday. I adore that bitch.

I once had an interview with Farmer Ted. It was to be his personal assistant and he was desperate. I was hired right away after listing I was once Tom Waits personal assistant. Which I kind of was on a few tour dates, really I just worked for his record label once.

Farmer Ted's manager blew me away at how much he offered. 30$ an hour. Mind blowing! Then when his manager asked me if I had my own car. I confessed I did not have a car, and did not have a license. He asked me if it was from something I had done. Because at that moment I think he would of still hired me but I fessed up and told him I never actually drove in my life. Sadly on my end and his I didn't get hired. They definitly would of required a car to pick up laundry and drive his dog to the park for his twice daily walks.

I called my mother when I got home from the interview and told her she ruined my life by not letting me get my license.

stupidity service charge

Today a guest requested a chapstick to be brought to his room from his car which was valeted. WTF. I am guessing his lips were so chapped on the verge of bleeding because in my years of working at the hotel I have never had anyone waste the precious time of our valet and bellman. I thought I was on a prank phonecall. As usual.